So There’s This Guy…

Well we’re friends. We’ve been friends for a while. But see it gets complicated because the whole time we’ve been friends he’s been in a relationship with the same girl. And well of course he’s not anymore or I wouldn’t have anything to be confused about. But they broke up very recently and he’s acting like he’s interested in me as more than a friend now. He’s very attractive. I thought he was attractive from the second I met him. We’ve always had fun together. He’s intelligent and a third year engineering student so he has to have good work ethic. Pretty much what I’m getting to is that he wants to be with me(after he’s emotionally ready) and from what I know so far about him I want to give it a chance. However as a friend I feel obligated to be there for him while he deals with the pain of his relationship ending. There’s definitely a way to do that without crossing the friendship line and getting into feelings and stuff but I want to…I want us to be more than friends but I’m scared that I’ll never develop feelings for him. And well lets say I’ve got it all wrong and he’s really just looking for comforting and sex from me. Yes I’ll be slightly disappointed but only because I still don’t have the relationship I want. But if I’m right and he really wants to be serious and I don’t make any changes in the way our relationship is progressing then later when he’s all ready and in love I tell him I don’t like him, he’ll be devastated and we might never be friends again. That is the only thing I’m scared of. But honestly that’s a negative mindset. I’ve come to the point where I expect failure and run at the first sight of it. I don’t give anyone a chance to be the man I want and I really want to change that. I recently realized how powerful your thoughts are so I want to believe this can work instead of planning an escape route for when it fails. I’m deciding right now that I’m going to ignore all possibilities of failure. I’m going to be patient and wait for him to restore my faith in men 💜

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