*Feeling Embarrassed*

I’ve always been an independent spirit. I guess it’s a Libra thing. Regardless, being part of teams I’ve always struggled with trying to maintain my individuality without completely separating myself from the group. And well today I got called out on it. Lately I’ve been working on myself, making sure that I’m good enough for the man I’m looking for. One quality I want is a man who dresses nice. Not just for church or interviews but all the time. So it only makes sense that I should do the same right? But in trying to implement this in my life I temporarily forgot that some places have an unofficial dress code. Especially when you’re going to these places as part of a team. I didn’t technically have a uniform I was supposed to wear today, but I didn’t wear anything similar to what I knew my team would have on. And well the manager called me out. I didn’t get in trouble oh no its just my mind is uneasy because I felt embarrassed. I don’t do well with any kind of negativity in my life. Not people, things, or emotions. The fact that I was trying something new and it didn’t work out bothers me. I knew the choice I made would stand out, but I wasn’t thinking of the fact that I don’t need to stand out when I’m with my team. I was debating whether or not I was bold enough to go against the norm and well I was but only to find out the norm isn’t just what everyone does. Oh no its actually expected from the team members. Anyone hearing about this situation would probably just be like “oh ok you didn’t wear what you were supposed to lol u didn’t know no biggie”. But what do I do? Sit and think about it for way longer than necessary. I’m trying to ignore these emotions. This feeling of embarrassment that is so foreign to me. I don’t want it, but it’s here and I have no idea what to do with it.


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