So today, I was laying in bed next to a new guy in my life. I definitely want a boyfriend but at the very least I like having someone I can call often to cuddle with and tell me I’m beautiful which this guy did oh so well. I was even beginning to think he had dating potential, yet I knew that the way our relationship was developing that right now it was only about the fun. That was perfectly fine with me. As long as I’m not being lied to, I have no problem with what you do when I’m not around. All that matters is that I’m getting what I want. Well as I’m laying in his bed, he’s kissing my neck and rubbing my legs and then he decides that he has to tell me something. He thinks it will make me mad, so he’s hesitant. I assure him that it is almost impossible to make me upset, so he has nothing to worry about.
He proceeds to tell me that he has a girlfriend.
Now I could be very angry that he was pursuing me without the intention of a serious relationship, I could be disgusted that a person could be that disrespectful to a woman, I could feel guilty for messing around with a taken man, I could be upset that he wasn’t honest with me from the jump, but what is it that I actually feel?
Almost all 20 years of my life I’ve been single. Granted there have been multiple interactions I’ve had with different men and one official relationship, but none that compare to the intense love I see around me. There’s movies, stories, even my friends where I see the beauty that comes from serious relationships. Naturally I’d like to experience that myself one day. The only issue is finding someone capable of giving me that kind of love that I will gladly reciprocate. That has been a great struggle in my life. So when I find someone I think might be what I’m looking for, I get really excited.
What makes matters worse is that he doesn’t want to make any changes in what we’ve been doing. Everything rests on me. If I wanted to, we could continue making out and feeling each other up. Honestly he’d love to do more than we have been, but I’ve set in my heart that we as women need to stop allowing men to act this way. If he can tell a girl that he has a girlfriend and she’ll still give up everything he wants, what motivation does he have to stay faithful? If you continually do something wrong without consequence, you will never feel inclined to ever change your ways. For too long, too many women have said with their actions “it’s ok that you’re cheating on your girlfriend” then turn around and expect a man to be faithful to them. Just because you are single doesn’t mean you’re not still in the wrong.
Don’t get me wrong it’s a hard decision to make, especially when you find out after you’ve already been messing around and you know what you are giving up. But it’s a decision that needs to be made by both men and women until we live in a world without cheaters.