It’s been a while since I’ve posted. Honestly because my life has been great. But now something came up and I don’t know I kinda am over men.
Part of the reason I felt like my life was going very pleasantly is the fact that I met this guy who caught my attention. That really doesn’t happen often. He was cute and funny and we had good conversations! But him being a Pisces on top of this feeling I had told me to take it slow with him. I didn’t even ask for his number, I got it from a mutual friend when I was looking for a ride somewhere. And well after that day we just continued texting. Yes I did text him first quite a bit but it was never anything forward. If you went through our text messages you would not see any hint of flirting or either of us having feelings or even being attracted to the other. We just talked a lot and hung out a lot. When we were together in person there wasn’t even any physical contact! I was feeling him but I still wanted to take it slow. I never brought up me liking him, I never asked him about his feelings for me, and I never once tried to get him to define the relationship.
All that seems perfectly fine until you consider the fact that I’m a Libra. People feel seduced by Libras when we’re not even trying, so imagine how much stronger that seduction would feel when I’m actually interested in him and wanting him to be interested as well? Even though I wasn’t being aggressive with my intentions, I still knew I wanted him so that’s the impression he got. And well after a while I realized I don’t have feelings for him beyond friendship and sexual attraction. Here’s where the problems started.
All this time I’ve been texting him, asking him to hang out, trying to get to know him and now I realize I don’t like him. I’m an honest person so I let him know, I told him I don’t see myself dating him. But me being me I still wanted to mess around with him. But well another part of me is I like making vague statements and hoping the person I’m talking to just knows what I mean. Really and truly I just wanted to break the touch barrier between us, if I’m in your bed half naked I expect to be groped. I want to feel like you’re attracted to me and I guess he took what I said to mean I wanted to have sex with him. So when it came time and I didn’t want to go all the way I guess he felt a certain way.
To top it all off he ended up telling me he felt played. He felt like I led him on to liking me when he thought we were just gonna be friends and then I led him on to thinking we were gonna have sex after I told him we wouldn’t ever date….
I get why he feels that way but I think it’s stupid. Am I not allowed to pursue someone I’m interested in without it being a covenant? I’m sorry I thought I liked you but later found out I didn’t. It’s part of life man. And if you feel led on when we never even flirted??? I can’t talk to men. I just can’t. I take pride in being real with people, so when someone I care about is telling me he feels like I played him?? That breaks my heart. I don’t like feeling like I’m bringing stress to my friends lives. If this is what happens when I try to be proactive about a guy I might be interested in then I just won’t be interested in anyone anymore.