She doesn’t understand

I wish you would understand what this man means to me. I know we’re not supposed to be together, kinda, but the way he makes me feel compares to no one. I’m not even talking about a sexual feeling, I’m talking about the comfort I get from speaking to him. When I talk to him I feel like he’s the only person in the world who truly understands me. There’s a peace that comes over my spirit. A freedom that lets me be me. I feel comfortable being vulnerable, telling him things I wouldn’t tell anyone else. He never makes me feel like I’m crazy or unreasonable. I love you and I love him. The same way you take care of me, so does he. He wasn’t a bad boyfriend. He was a really good one. He had his issues but so does everyone. He took care of me, he was there for me. Always. He made sure I was happy. I know he cared about me, there’s no doubt in that.
I guess it doesn’t help that he raped me. There’s no other way to say it. He inserted his penis into my vagina before I told him it was ok. Not to mention when he stuck his tongue in there when I was telling him I didn’t want to. That’s the world we live in when decent guys do stuff like that cuz they don’t understand how wrong it is. And then get mad at you when you inform them they raped someone. But I miss my baby 😦 I miss the conversations and that feeling of just being loved, accepted, and understood. I haven’t had that in so long and I really miss it. It’s not that I want to be with him cuz I can’t deal with someone disrespecting me the way he did, but I miss what we had. That was a good semester.
I’m tired of being single 😥 I’m ready to love and be loved. I don’t care if it’s hard work. I don’t care if he does dumb stuff men do. I just want that feeling again. The feeling like I always had someone to go to who would know exactly what to say even if that was that he has no advice to give me. He would tell me in such a way that I knew he understood exactly how I felt and that there really is nothing I can do right now. If I came to him with something that seemed ridiculous he wouldn’t act like I was crazy. He’d find a way to make me feel comfortable with the situation.
So what if he talks slow?? I like his voice. I miss his voice. It’s soothing to me. I just wish you would understand


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