Not your decision

It makes me so sad how men think. Not to say they’re wrong about everything because they’re right about a lot. But this whole rape culture is really sad and scary. I don’t get what’s so confusing about the fact that regardless of what a woman does or wears, if she doesn’t tell you she wants to have sex with you, it’s not ok.

There’s this picture I saw on Instagram where this woman was sitting completely naked with her legs open holding a sign saying “I’m still not asking for it”. Now I get it, the majority of women who are naked with their legs open are intending it to be an indication that they want sex. I completely get that, but the problem comes when you try to make everybody abide by the same rules/behavior instead of respecting individual desires. Respect does not mean agreement or even positive thoughts. Respect means that regardless of how fine this naked woman is lying in front of you telling you she doesn’t want to have sex, regardless of how wet she is, regardless of how many people she’s slept with already, you don’t stick your penis inside of her.

You can be confused, you can be upset but what you do not need to do is make a decision for her about whether or not she wants to have sex. From your perspective you think she’s asking for it, but guess what? You’re not her. You haven’t lived her life so you don’t know where she’s coming from or what she’s been through. All you know is that she’s telling you she doesn’t want to have sex and that should be enough. I don’t get how people sit and argue with other people about how they feel or what they want to do…. that’s with anything not just sex/rape culture. I’ve literally had to argue with somebody who was telling me that I like ponytails after I just said I didn’t. What logic is that? You think you know this person better than they know theirself??? You think because you’ve seen a couple signs you know the full story?? Come on now, this is a lesson for life. If someone tells you something and you call yourself trusting them, there’s no reason to sit and argue about what they want or feel. And if you’re trying to have sex with a woman you don’t trust you must want AIDS. Just saying.

A man commented under this girls picture saying she could have proved her point another way referring to the fact that she’s sitting with her legs open saying she doesn’t want sex. But I think she intentionally made her picture as stereotypically sexual as possible to make her point that no matter what you think a woman is asking for, it means nothing if she’s telling you otherwise.

You don’t want women telling you what decisions you HAVE to make with your life and money based on what you wear or where you work so don’t try to make decisions for women on what we HAVE to do with our bodies because of what you think we’re asking for.

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