My sisters are home and I love them.. I think but I feel infringed upon. One of them comes upstairs and puts on my shoes like I don’t need them. She kinda asked but really just told me as she was doing it. You would think this is an isolated incident but no she does stuff like that all the time. If it wasn’t shoes that literally I wear all day every day I wouldn’t care… well actually I would care because I don’t trust that she will take care of them. I don’t trust that she’ll bring them back in the same condition I left them. The other one just talks for forever. I can’t do anything, no scratch that, no one can do anything without her questioning why it had to be done that way. Like bro people have different brains and feelings. Just let them live. My whole family is so judgmental. Except my brother. My mother doesn’t believe in her husband, she doesn’t agree with the path he’s trying to take in his career and she’s trying to throw hints that he needs to do what she wants him to do. My father seems to have given up on his marriage, doesn’t want to celebrate their anniversary. I feel like I need to go on a journey but the time I have to do it I’m restricted. The car I’m able to drive is so old I’m scared it’s going to break down any second and on top of that the registration is expired so driving anywhere I’m at risk for getting a ticket. But I feel trapped. Especially now my sister is here and I’m sick and she’s all on my side of the bed!!! Bro move over! I need my space. I can feel the desire to be sooo close to me and I just can’t right now. I say this is what I want but clearly only from certain people. I want physical affection from people who listen to, understand, and respect me. I swear to god this is why I used to be mean. Y’all need to get y’alls life together. Learn to be quiet sometimes, let people talk. Listen to what the other person is saying. Maybe reply to what they say don’t just say a monologue. Let people live bro. Everybody doesn’t have to be like you. I would hope everybody is never like you that means there’s only one type of person in the world and who wants that??
I get in my moods where I’m really upset because I want a boyfriend, but now is not one of those times. Now I want to go everywhere and do everything. I want to feed homeless people, dance at a strip club, travel the world, do research, get on the deans list. Literally everything you can think of. And this mindset is not one where I want somebody holding on to me. Oh no this mindset is one where if you not giving me money I kinda don’t care about what you have to say.