What I learned from a pushover

Never in my days have I encountered a man who got excited at the idea of being with a slut. But sure enough, there is a first time for everything. Last night was interesting. Not only because I did things I’ve never done before, but this man was soo strange. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that will cause him to get his heart broken too many times.

He’s a real genuine guy, doesn’t play any games, but for whatever reason I don’t have feelings for him and I know I never will. When I tell him this he doesn’t pay it any mind. He’ll continue talking about how I’m going to be his girl one day. Then if he does express some type of sad emotion, he’ll say oh that’s weird, I don’t get it. But you’ll grow on me. I’ll take care of you, buy your books, take you out to eat. Now idk if he knows it or not, but he’s talking to a girl looking for a sugar daddy…. Now what do you think is going through my mind??? Jackpot lol. But I’m a good person with morals and I can’t do that to him. He actually has feelings. If he was just horny oh best believe I’d take everything he gives me, but this is different. The heart is nothing to play with.

I hung out with him yesterday for the first time and little did I know I was basically going to meet family. They’re not blood, but the vibe was that of his family, I could tell. So of course they’re sizing me up and seeing how good I’ll be for him but instead of saving that for later they say right in my face how much better I am than all the other girls he’s been with. They’re telling me he’s a good guy and to take care of him. They’re talking about how pretty I am and how I seem smart and I’m natural and basically saying I’m a perfect woman lol no exaggeration. And he’s letting this get to his head like yeah she is perfect I can’t let her go ……. I’m trying to be a good person and tell him I’m a slut with diseases and I just want him to touch and feel on me but he keep convincing himself we gonna end up together. He say whatever disease I got he want. I told him again that I didn’t like him and he said “so why are you here” I told him because I’m a slut and he got soo turned on like I just said the magic words. Now I guess I like aggressive men so I was loving it but at the same time I was shocked. He forgot that quick that I just told him I don’t like him and never will. That was the one time it almost seemed like he was registering what I’ve been telling him the whole time. He looked slightly sad and confused and even asked why I was there. You know normal questions right? Then as soon as I said slut he goes oh you’re a slut? And omg he turned into some type of porn star lol.

I used to get upset that I would do stuff like this, but now I’m slowly embracing my sluttiness. I will let a guy I just met eat me out and I’m ok with that. He’s cute and nice and has good conversations, so why the fuck not. I’ve gotten better, I think, with who I invite over. At least they’re not ugly anymore, but they still seem slightly off. Really cool people, but something is off lol. I could be really good friends with the last 2 except you know one is in love with me already and the other one has a girlfriend he only claims on instagram and when he’s with her.

Throughout the whole weird experience I learned some very valuable lessons.

Lesson #1:

There is a man who likes me for me. I would get so uncomfortable thinking about my sexual history. Technically I’ve only had sex with one man, but the fact that the technically is necessary makes me feel like a slut. I feel like I’ve done way more than I should have at this point in my life with people I don’t have any type of feelings for. The ones from high school I was barely even attracted to if I was at all.

Lesson #2:

I gotta stay far, far away from Aries men unless I want to be with them. Our attraction is so strong for each other. It’s an electric, irresistible attraction. I can’t explain it any other way than to refer to movie sex scenes. That’s what it felt like. That passionate. There was another Aries in high school and I promise you when we kissed I heard fireworks. I was not on any type of drug, but that kiss was so electrically charged that there were fireworks. The type of woman I am men fall in love quick anyway, so the added attraction between me and Aries men makes them even more hooked. I hate messing around with men who have real feelings. I guess that’s why I end up with taken men so much because I run away from the men I don’t like who seem like they’ll catch feelings. The ones who don’t catch feelings just so happen to be the ones who already have feelings for another woman aka are already in a relationship.

Lesson #3:

A man will do for you anything and everything if he really wants you. There is no need to beg and plead because he will be begging and pleading to please you. All you have to do is let your need be known and if he is able and if he cares about you as much as you think he does, he will do it for you. I told this man about 2 times that I was hungry and the second time he goes dang Ima feed you like what tf he look like not feeding me?? It’s just refreshing to see these principles I’ve been researching manifest in my life. I can read all day, but seeing results is what gets me to believe. There’s so many philosophies on relationships it’s nice to come across one that I know to work. Give your man space and he will do for you according to his feelings for you. If he does not do what you want without you begging and pleading then he is not the man for you hunny, don’t even waste your time.

 

 

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