This would have to be classified as the second craziest night of my life. The first being the night I almost got ran over, drove a strangers stick shift Corvette, and saw James harden staring at me for having 4 people in a 2 seat car.
We were supposed to go to karaoke last night, and on top of that I was supposed to be at a conference meet if I had been competing good enough. But the friend who wanted to go to karaoke decided that it was too late to be in the city so she went to dinner 30 minutes away and I wasn’t calling an uber that far. So me and my other friend who is also a Libra and I’m gonna go ahead and say is the best friend I’ve been looking for decided to follow through with what we were supposed to do last week that was a complete fail.
We went to this club that has proven to have men with money, a man even told us that ballers go there since the drink prices are so high. I call the campus escort to my friends room and I’m lowkey still tired from staying up studying Wednesday night, but I remind myself that I’m not going out to have fun, it’s business. I get to her room and she’s getting ready and tells me to call the uber before she’s dressed. I ask is she sure she’ll be ready on time and she says yeah. I call an uber and for some reason I’m not thinking twice about spending money on the uber. Like I’m so sure I’ll get that money back. He comes and its an African man named Ismail. My friend is rushing trying to find what she wants to wear, she’s not feeling anything she puts on and on top of that she has to figure out how to make her outfit look appropriate for her man while we’re leaving then be able to change later. The uber man calls me at least 3-4 times I can tell he’s getting upset cuz he’s waiting and I keep telling him we’re walking out/waiting on the elevator. We get in the car and he’s talking like somebody’s dad like y’all weren’t ready when you called the uber. He was talking about he was waiting for 20 minutes and I thought that was realistic and I was feeling bad lowkey but then he wanted to go and be like he was waiting for an hour. Now I had to check how long he actually was waiting and it was only 12 minutes bro. 12 and he talking about 20 and an hour 🙄🙄. Then he want to try and ask me if I’m from Nigeria cuz I got this thick fro now. I tell him no then it was like some small talk then awkward silence and I could feel tension. I feel bad for making him wait so I tried to make some conversation and ask where he’s from since he obviously African with a whole outfit on, he looks up at me in the mirror and keeps driving so I say ok that’s what we doing. Me and my friend were talking and he asks do we have an idea of where we’re going. He got this accent so I’m trying to figure out what he means, I ask him is he asking do we know how to get there and he says no. Then he goes on to say the GPS is recalculating so he’s not sure he’s going the right way and I’m like soo you wanted to know if we know how to get there like I just asked, tf? So he’s following the GPS supposedly, driving out of his lane and missing turns, I’m just thinking about how much extra hes gonna charge me for taking longer. We finally get to our destination and he want to turn and ask me my name like I’m really gonna want to talk to him after he was that rude to me. I tell him it doesn’t matter and get out the car with my friend laughing at me 😂
We get inside and its what we expected, people everywhere and we’re just walking around. Dudes keep trying to get our attention and literally grabbing this woman like they’re her man but I’m trying to do how we planned and trust her judgment on who got money and who don’t. I’m fighting everything in me not to speak to these men she’s paying no attention to and finally we see someone she thinks has money. He’s not coming up to us then this African man comes and asks us to go to his section so as we’re walking away from the man in blue I see him holding a huge stack of money. I tell my friend “Sabrina” that and we’re talking like we don’t know what to do no more cuz she think the African got money too. So we go to the section for a bit then tell the Africans we’re going to the restroom and coming right back and he getting all offended like I’m lying to him. We go back to the other man to give him a chance to come to us, right as we’re leaving he finally make a move. We get his number which really means I get his number and text him like I’m Sabrina. We go back to the section and these men are barely paying attention to us. We’re dancing and having fun and they barely speaking meanwhile the man in blue is texting and calling (like I can hear him) talking about we should go to his hotel room. The Africans are asking us to go to some after party and we’re stuck and don’t know what to do. We decide to tell the Africans we’re gonna get our other friend then go to the after party but really we went to the hotel room. This man first of all called an uber that quick to get us, and is staying in a really nice hotel. We get to his room and he’s holding both of us kissing our hands talking about he wants both of us. Sabrina playing stupid like what you mean you want both of us we’re both right here lol he tell us to take off his reds talking about his shoes 🙄 then he tell us to take off his socks cuz he proud of his feet cuz he got them done today… he was overall just being weird but we’re trying to get the money lol. He showed us the magazine that he’s CEO of and I’m being dumb calling my friend by her real name. He told us we were gonna start off with $100 each, he brought it up not us lol and that we could work our way up depending on what we did. Me and Sabrina looking at each other like how do we do this?? We not trying do nothing but get the money. She ask him to prove he got money like he say he do so he pull it out and we legit looking at this money that he wants to give us but he wants sex first. We trying to convince him to watch a movie or let us give him a massage but he won’t budge. We decide to go to the after party and we tell him we’re coming back. He ubers us to the after party to go met these Nigerians at this African after hours club. We get there and the African come outside trying to act like he don’t have money to pay for us to get in. He has to go back inside and come back out before we finally get let in. We’re standing outside freezing cuz the temperature keep dropping waiting on this rich ass man to get $20 so we can get in the club. We get in and I see all type of people from my school. Im like omg this makes me uncomfortable. I hate being out and seeing people I know. They don’t know that side of me. We chilling in their section and Sabrina wants to go see whats upstairs cuz it was her first time there and when we come back not even 2 minutes later they had some other hoes in our seats. It’s one little section of the bench to sit on but it’s 2 of us. We’re asking them why they gave away our seats and they’re like no no it’s room it’s room telling us one can sit there and the other one can sit in another spot. We leave to go find somewhere to sit that has room to breathe. We end up standing next to this section with these lowkey looking dudes just chillin on their phones. One kept looking at us so I ask him can we sit and he moving stuff out our way to make room. They start offering us drinks and hookah. I decided to try hookah for the first time and it was pretty cool. Overall we could feel a very welcoming vibe from them unlike the others who barely paid us attention. They ask if we want to go to the strip club and we say hell yeah lol that was our goal last week. We walk outside to their cars and omg they got these beautiful ass cars that’s sitting right in the front. Every time we go out we be wondering who has those cars and this time we found them. We get to the strip club and easily get in, the people we with get announced and I’m thinking they’re famous, turns out they just go there a lot. The girls crowded around and were dancing but not getting any money at first we were confused why they stayed. Then these men brought out stacks. They had ones, twenties, even hundreds bro. They were giving strippers hundreds!! Me and my friend were getting mad cuz none of them were really doing anything! Like me and her were doing more at the first club we went to. It was 2 girls that actually pulled stripper moves. One was really good on the pole and the other gave really good lap dances. Me and Sabrina were just sitting, talking and laughing at how they didn’t like each other when we see this man put an entire stack of ones in this stripper clothes who barely moving! We got so mad!!!! We switched from laughter to pissed off soo quick. We could easily be making that kind of money cuz we know how to work men. The one fat dude that I think run the whole group for some reason thought I liked him?? And that I kept looking at him? And that I liked girls? So he calls me over to him so he can pay for me to get a lap dance. This girl start dancing on me, I can’t see Sabrina and I’m just like I guess I pretend like this what I want… he gives me a stack to throw on her and I’m thinking this should be mine. I should keep this. Me and the girl talking, she telling me she being lazy cuz her feet hurt even tho I can already tell. I’m telling her she don’t have to keep dancing but she like nahh ima keep going until he tell me to stop. They calling this man sir and everything! Then he gives me another stack and now Sabrina next to me telling me to keep that hoe. So I do! I tried to shove it my overstuffed purse but it barely fit. The funniest part was the stripper saw me hide it and she got sooo mad. She started talking about me and mugging me lol thankfully they were ready to leave at that point cuz I was lowkey scared she would start something. But we leave and go to their apartment which is really, really nice. The view out the balcony was gorgeous. I tried to take a picture but my phone died and I couldn’t go in my purse to get the charger cuz all the money would fall out lol. We kept telling them we were hungry and they said they had food at the house so we didn’t need to go anywhere and turns out they had 2 pieces of leftover chicken and some bagels.. he heats up the chicken and I’m thinking I get both and he go and take one. Like wtf. You just spent thousands on these strippers but I get one piece of leftover chicken. We were leaving and try to ask him for money for breakfast and he say he don’t got none. Are you serious? I’m still baffled by how the night ended but I got my $67 lol.
Overall we had a major success, we danced a little, made memories, met multiple men with actual money and got some cash by the end of the night. Stay tuned for our next episode