When he left me

I feel alone. All these people in this world that love me and I feel alone.. then I feel bad that I’m upset. Like I’m ungrateful or something.

I try to be grateful. I have a great life, honestly, truly. But I just feel like I’m living it by myself. With no attachment to anybody. The few people I want to be attached to make me want to keep my distance with how they act. I don’t like those we only talk every once in a while relationships. I mean I could handle one or two of those if I had some close relationships too.

I need a lot of attention. That’s like a curse word in today’s society, but it is what it is. I need attention and if I don’t get it I end up how I’m feeling right now. Lonely.

I was just telling someone I haven’t felt lonely in a while. Well here we go again. I hate feeling like this. It’s literally a feeling that is uncontrollable. I can’t make people talk to me as much as I want. I can’t make people understand me how I want. All I can do is control myself and idk if it’s possible for me to require less attention.

I think about it so often but idk what to do. I go to dating apps but the guys there are weird and it doesn’t work the same. Guys in college be scared to speak, I’m scared to go anywhere by myself. I don’t want to spend money on an uber. I don’t have a vehicle. I don’t know where to go to make friends. Idk why the universe wants me to be alone so bad 😢. Won’t let me have friends or a man.

I feel like I bother people with my negativity always being upset. I feel like a burden. I feel like I have to just deal with it myself so no one is bothered with my feelings. I guess I feel like I’m not important enough to other people for them to help me. I feel like since people act like other things in their life are more important than me that they wouldn’t want to deal with all my negative emotions.

Someone please help.

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2 thoughts on “When he left me

  1. Having been a negative and pessimistic person my entire life, all I can say is that positive vibes attract positive vibes. If you’re giving off those positive vibes and you seem open, then you should find what you’re looking for. It takes time though, and you need to find a way to meet people. I don’t know if you have hobbies or something you’re very passionate about, but searching for people with similar passions as you makes it a lot easier to make that connection you’re seeking.

    It’s very good that you’re getting all of this negativity out through blogging/writing out your thoughts. I like your no filter style lol. Keep it up! Wishing you the best!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeahh I don’t really write for anybody but myself 😂 every single thing on here is for me and only me. The problem with me isn’t attracting people because I attract a lot, men and women. The problem is attracting people I feel fully understand me and who want to spend time with me. It’s always one or the other I have a problem with. I think I do need to meet more people but the way I am it’s hard to find someone who agrees with all the aspects of me. Idk how much you’ve read but I do a lot that not everyone can handle. It’s a possibility I’m not appearing open but I’m not sure how I would know or change that

      Liked by 1 person

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