I feel alone. All these people in this world that love me and I feel alone.. then I feel bad that I’m upset. Like I’m ungrateful or something.
I try to be grateful. I have a great life, honestly, truly. But I just feel like I’m living it by myself. With no attachment to anybody. The few people I want to be attached to make me want to keep my distance with how they act. I don’t like those we only talk every once in a while relationships. I mean I could handle one or two of those if I had some close relationships too.
I need a lot of attention. That’s like a curse word in today’s society, but it is what it is. I need attention and if I don’t get it I end up how I’m feeling right now. Lonely.
I was just telling someone I haven’t felt lonely in a while. Well here we go again. I hate feeling like this. It’s literally a feeling that is uncontrollable. I can’t make people talk to me as much as I want. I can’t make people understand me how I want. All I can do is control myself and idk if it’s possible for me to require less attention.
I think about it so often but idk what to do. I go to dating apps but the guys there are weird and it doesn’t work the same. Guys in college be scared to speak, I’m scared to go anywhere by myself. I don’t want to spend money on an uber. I don’t have a vehicle. I don’t know where to go to make friends. Idk why the universe wants me to be alone so bad 😢. Won’t let me have friends or a man.
I feel like I bother people with my negativity always being upset. I feel like a burden. I feel like I have to just deal with it myself so no one is bothered with my feelings. I guess I feel like I’m not important enough to other people for them to help me. I feel like since people act like other things in their life are more important than me that they wouldn’t want to deal with all my negative emotions.
Someone please help.