I hate complaining

I feel like people really be thinking I’m playing when I say I need things. I say I need to get out, I need friends, I need to socialize and no one comes to get me. This why I want a car so bad so I don’t have to depend on other people to get out the fucking house and take care of my mental health.

Idk if people think I’m kidding when I say I’m depressed or lonely or I need a hug but I be dead ass. I saw this post talking about the signs short comings and whatever and for libras it said that we need to try to fix our own problems before we start wining and complaining. Of course I can’t speak for every Libra but I know myself. I know I complain too much but I also know I hate complaining. Literally the only reason I complain is because I feel like you can do something about it. If I care about you I don’t want to burden you with my problems and negativity. The only reason I’ll do that is if I literally have reached my limit and I’m so stressed or else I feel like you’re the solution to my problem.

My parents I wouldn’t ever complain to them about being lonely. That’s just gonna make them sad and worry about me but they can’t give me friends…. Now if I’m in need of physical affection and all my female friends are either trippin/”busy” or else they don’t like being touched 🙄🙄 then I call a nigga. Now this dude is probably going to be like, bro why every time I talk to you, you wanna get out. Or you’re depressed, etc. 

Well my friend. The answer is because the only time I ever get out or spend something close to quality time with someone who cares about me is when I see you. I’m a social being. Not social like omg yeah I like people. No I’m social meaning I fucking NEED people to be happy. Do I like that? Hell nah!

People are so annoying to me. I literally feel disconnected from 99% of the people I know. That 1% of people I feel connected to pisses me off. They’re unreliable, don’t know how to prioritize or don’t even care to prioritize me or else they just plain don’t want me in their life no more. What part of that would make me want to be around people? None. But I can’t get away.

I try so hard 😔 I really do. When I was on campus with N*** I managed to be good. I didn’t get lonely for a while. Not until the summer time when I came home did I get lonely. But then why was I depressed?? Oh god I’m a mystery even to myself. Maybe I was just drained. Maybe I was lonely but don’t remember. I felt better after spending time with her. No actually I felt better after crying around someone who saw me and listened.

See it’s shit like that. I can be depressed for days, then the one thing that gets me out is fucking attention. Why. I don’t want to want attention. I just do. I’d much rather be an independent woman and live my life not dependent on anybody for my damn happiness but noo I gotta want friends and a boyfriend and strangers to talk to me and ughhhh it’s so annoying. As annoying as it is for you to look at someone seeking attention and always trying to be around somebody imagine how much worse it is for me to have to go through all this effort or else I’m stuck in my room depressed.

I don’t say depressed like people say they’re starving when they’re just a little hungry. I’m not just a little sad about something that doesn’t matter. I’m fucking depressed about something that obviously matters to me or else it wouldn’t bother me so much.

I actually watched TV today. For literally the first time ever. It was Cardi b of course and it was pretty interesting. I wasn’t checking my phone and stuff but I still feel like a zombie staring at a screen all day. And then the annoying part is, every time I have fun, I want to tell somebody 🙄🙄🙄. Like I can’t just enjoy myself. If I’m dancing in my room I gotta record myself and act like someone is gonna watch it. I’m watching a show and can’t get through it without wanting to call someone and tell them about it.

For anyone who doesn’t understand libras/thinks we complain too much: first of all fuck you. And second understand that we strive to be independent. We take pride in figuring things out on our own and taking care of us and everyone we love. We hate fucking complaining so if we are just know it’s bad or else you can help. No we’re not direct all the time. Sometimes we’ll complain about never seeing our friends instead of saying hey I need you to hang out with me? Why do we do it? Because we fucking hate complaining and bothering people. Idk why in our brains it sounds better to mention a need we have rather than ask for what we want. Maybe because we don’t wanna be vulnerable or let you know we’re struggling. We downplay a lot and we display emotion through words not actions. We’ll say we’re pissed and sitting calmly so no one pays attention then as soon as we pop off people wanna think we’re crazy. Shit I say I need friends, let me end up killing myself and see how people talk about they had no idea. Bitch shut the fuck up. Telling me I complain too damn much. Well maybe I’m sad too damn much. Ever think about that? Ever think that maybe we tried to solve our problems ourselves without anyone knowing they even existed first but we ran out of options so we need help? Do you understand libras want to be perfect. We want to be perfect and at the very least look perfect to everyone we know. Why would someone who wants to appear perfect continually talk about our issues?? Because we reached our fucking limit that’s why.

If you have a problem with what comes out of our mouths then you would absolutely loathe us if you could read our minds. As much as we hold in, as much as we deal with silently and you still think we complain too much.

The thing I hate reading about Libras is that we’re balanced. Bitch we are farrrrr from it 😂😂. That’s what we’re aiming for but it takes a while to get there. If you’re dealing with a Libra just go ahead and assume you will see all kinds of extremes. You’ll see extremely happy and extremely sad. Extremely bored and extremely hyper. Extremely mad and extremely loving. We experience all kinds of extremes at different times of our lives (aka different minutes and seconds) until we finally find the balance we desire. 

If ever we are complaining just know that whatever words are coming out of our mouths, we are feeling times 1,000. Honest to God. And if we’re texting you we’re probably crying, could be crying on the phone too but we don’t want you to worry about us we just want a solution to our problems. Either give a good solution (key word good, one that shows you understand us and what’s best for us) or else shut the fuck up. For real.

Nobody likes complaining. We’re just stressed and don’t know what else to do.

Right now I’m stressed and don’t know what to do.

I’m lonely and I’m pushing it to the back of my mind all summer. Idk when the last time I just sat up and chilled with a friend was. People always wanna go out and make it a production. Can we stay in sometimes? Enjoy each other’s company, get to know each other a little better, see what’s going on in all of our lives. And especially with fucking n***. I feel like she let k***** control her damn life so much I get to see her once a week if that. So the one day of the week, we’re out trying to go on adventures and shit. Can we just have a chill day? Please? Can you stand up to that bitch and do what you want. And can you hang out with me without trying to text some side hoes??? God dang. Is that what I am to you? A female you use to get out the house so you can cheat on your boyfriend? I don’t like that shit. I’m ready for real ass relationships and I feel like I’m the only one. I want to get down and dirty and everyone I know is distant af. I used to think it was a reflection of me but I’m not closed off no more. I’m ready to be opened. The door is cracked I’m just waiting on someone to bust it wide open.

I want female friends and I want a boyfriend. 2 very different things that will bring me very different things. I think I need a woman more than I need a man. I can be mentally happy and still desire a man’s presence but if I have a man and no female friend I’ll feel empty. At least that’s how it was before. It could have changed but I don’t think so. It’s things I can’t talk to a man about.

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