Giving up Control

I feel like I was being tested. Everything was irritating me, everything was pissing me off and sending me to a state of despair. It seemed nothing was going how I wanted. I couldn’t get a car, I couldn’t see my friends, I couldn’t go where I wanted, and the worst part was I got a flicker of hope. I got invited to go to a soccer game with this girl I really wanted to be friends with but I felt like I told her no too many times so she stopped inviting me.

So I’m exhausted. I’m so exhausted I’m thinking about not going even though I’ve been dying to do something fun for forever. Eventually I decided to go but it’s last minute and my phones retarded so it’s on 17 percent. I turn it on airplane mode because she’s sending my ticket to my phone. I get close to the stadium and turn it on and I see soooo many missed calls and she was texting me like are you coming??? He’s getting ready to give away your ticket….. wow. I do all this and give up my sleep just to not be able to get in anymore. Then it gets worse because I was going to try to go in anyway but they told me my bag was too big. 😦 I brought an itty bitty tiny purse but by NFL rules it had to be a tiny ass wallet or else a clear bag. So I try to text my friend to see can I put it in her car and my phone dies. Not only do I not know what to do with my bag but now I don’t know how I’ll get in because my ticket was on my phone. Literally everything that could go wrong did (obviously not everything but that’s how I felt). I felt like things kept getting worse and worse and I was wondering why I was even there. Why give me this opportunity and hope and then snatch it from me. I kept trying to trust the plan, but it wasn’t going anywhere close to what I planned myself so I thought the day was doomed. I thought I’d never get to the game. I thought I would have to get back on the bus and go right back home. I’m literally going back and forth with myself trying not to cry and be upset. I did good for a while but once my phone died and I didn’t have a place to charge my phone and the supervisor was being a dick I thought there was no hope left and I broke down.

I feel like I let things stress me out so much because I plan my life to the T so when things don’t go according to plan it’s like I think I have to figure everything out again or I get upset I’m not getting my way. I had to stop and think about what was going on. I was stressed and so many problems were popping up. I was like what the heck, I feel like I’m being tested. Why am I being tested? Then somewhere, I guess the voice of God or whatever you wanna call it, but I realized that I’m upset because I’m trying to control everything. My friend hinted that I needed to trust God. Those were his words. In my words I’d say I need to stop trying to control my life because I don’t know whats best for me.

As soon as I realized that I need to stop controlling my life, everything started working out. The worker was helping me out and pointed out a car to me where I can charge my phone and she went and got another supervisor who gave me a pass to say I have a medical bag and have to take it in. I got inside no problems. I went to the game and easily found my seat. I didn’t even realize it until just now but the entrance I picked was right next to the section. I didn’t have to walk all the way around the entire stadium to get to the seat. And I saw the seat and everything on the ticket, but it wasn’t until I was looking for the seat did I realize that ho said row E. We were on the 5th row of a really huge game. Manchester United and Manchester City were playing in Houston for the very first time. The stadium was packed. The seat I was in cost $300. Wow

This is the kind of life I can live if I only keep faith.